Tuesday, 19 January 2016
Professor T. Bud Barkslip has recently anointed himself as an "agronomystic," foretelling the economic future of America's Heartland. This is from an interview with the magazine "The Economystic."
Interviewer: Today our guest is Professor T. Bud Barkslip. Professor Barkslip, I hear you are to give a tour and pruning demonstration at the Montford Rally for Commonwealth edibles next weekend.
Professor Barkslip: Yes, that is true, but you can call me Professor BS. Most people do. I strongly believe that any forum to teach and inspire people to grow their own food will be essential to a world of burgeoning population with diminishing resources, and so I am supporting that cause by contributing some of what I know.
Interviewer: Professor BS, what is your agronomic forecast for 2016?
Professor Barkslip: I am recommending that people invest heavily in mutual fun this winter season.
Interviewer: What kind of mutual funds?
Professor Barkslip: "Mutual fun, F-U-N". Yes, I get peppered with that question a lot.
Interviewer: Sorry, mutual fun.
Professor Barkslip: The Mutual Fun that is hot is having friends and family over for dinner, potlucks with neighbors, and participating in Fruit Nut club workdays. At the opening of The Bell pepper this morning, stocks are looking robust with a lot of buying and celery of onions, potatoes, carrots, and garlic, but it’s best to put them on the back burner for now.
If you really want to make some bread this year you're going to have to start off with a little dough, and this will make a nice addition to your nest egg. Pork bellies are sizzling right now, so don’t concern yourself with futures. I'm not talking about small potatoes here, and I'm not talking turkey. I'm talking about a fruitful future for all of those who want to plow their money into the (farmer's) market, and make some green!
Interviewer: Thank you T. Bud. That's a lot to digest, but I'm sure our audience will take that to heart.
Professor Barkslip: One more thing. While the fruit nuts focus on fun, we get downright feisty when someone threatens to topple our apple cart. Here’s a video we put together when we found out the city planned to move and kill the trees we’ve been tending at Montford Rec Center. Everyone who supports fruits and nuts in public places need to make their support known.
As part of their advocacy for edible plants in public places, Professor T. Bud Barkslip and the fruit nuts produced a short video: “Going out on a limb.”